Blah..!

Every time

We are reminded

Of where we are headed

Despite the fact, that we can't help it.

Seasons change outside

Never to be the same,

Or to come back...

Like a tide.

So alone,

Just trying to store

Some of the memories

Of my happy diary.

So alone,

I wait.

For there is nothing to be done.

Waiting for the next disaster to strike,

Or the next memory I can store,

Or....keep trying to forget

That I'm alone.

Right here.

Waiting,

For the painting

Full of colors

That fate might have been planing

To paint

But instead,

Sucked all the colors by a straw

Leaving it, as a 'pending file'.

.....

An Old Diary ...

As I sat to write I remember nothing, think nothing and I just feel the silence of the night, It never scares me, the silence that is.. It always indulges my thoughts, it always purifies my soul, my tired little soul which is always trying to adjust to the wayward ways of life, battling the crowd and the noise. I feel lost in the crowd, Words feel like bullets and people make me feel alone. 

I have no answers for questions, I just move on with life, when someone asks me why I am the way I am, I just smile, Why? Does anyone find the answer for this? No. When the sun rises tomorrow I will wake up to the bright light falling into my lap, I get ready, I take a mask and wear it on my face, the mask of intelligence, the mask of confidence and the mask of smile and the cheerful me walks into the world, I blink for a moment at the brightness, and then I am a part of it all. 

But tonight, its just me and my thoughts, I am not lonely, I am just alone, no masks and no fear, no artificial smiles and I feel relieved, in the darkness the memories cover me up, and I just look into the sky, looking a the twinkling sky filled with stars a small smile comes on to   my face, memories.....

Old diaries, they have so much hidden in them, so many feelings and emotions just lying there, in the form of words, and some, in the form of blank pages' :)

I walk back into my room, closing the doors behind me, covering the drapes, I no longer can see the sky, neither can I feel the silence..... i close my old diary, its almost falling apart, I safely put it in back in to the shelf, hidden behind a pile of books, its just a memory. 

End...

Not Today ...

Not today,

Not yesterday,
I've been alone everyday.

And I realized it not today.

Last friends,
Down the river bends.
Made friends,
None making it to the end.

And I realized it not today.

End...

-No Title-

Who should I blame?

Should I blame you? myself? or the situation??

Well, I choose to blame myself.

I'm sorry for everything

I blame myself for letting me go to bed with eyes full of tears.

I'm just sick and tired trying to justify all your actions and trying to understand your situation and Consoling my heart.

For once try to understand me, would you?

The only thing I wish right now, that I am an ant.

So that I can crawl and sit under a rock and nobody would ever notice my existence

End..