An Old Diary ...

As I sat to write I remember nothing, think nothing and I just feel the silence of the night, It never scares me, the silence that is.. It always indulges my thoughts, it always purifies my soul, my tired little soul which is always trying to adjust to the wayward ways of life, battling the crowd and the noise. I feel lost in the crowd, Words feel like bullets and people make me feel alone. 

I have no answers for questions, I just move on with life, when someone asks me why I am the way I am, I just smile, Why? Does anyone find the answer for this? No. When the sun rises tomorrow I will wake up to the bright light falling into my lap, I get ready, I take a mask and wear it on my face, the mask of intelligence, the mask of confidence and the mask of smile and the cheerful me walks into the world, I blink for a moment at the brightness, and then I am a part of it all. 

But tonight, its just me and my thoughts, I am not lonely, I am just alone, no masks and no fear, no artificial smiles and I feel relieved, in the darkness the memories cover me up, and I just look into the sky, looking a the twinkling sky filled with stars a small smile comes on to   my face, memories.....

Old diaries, they have so much hidden in them, so many feelings and emotions just lying there, in the form of words, and some, in the form of blank pages' :)

I walk back into my room, closing the doors behind me, covering the drapes, I no longer can see the sky, neither can I feel the silence..... i close my old diary, its almost falling apart, I safely put it in back in to the shelf, hidden behind a pile of books, its just a memory. 

End...

I am not afraid of Tomorrow, for I have seen Yesterday and I love Today...

I HAVE TO CHANGE!

I realized that I am slipping back in my old ways again where I'm just being such a *hirurtufnajkdjkfjjkdfjiweweuwfjhfjf*, and I don’t want to be that person anymore, and I know that it is just going to kill me. It just that sometimes with no reason what so ever I get so depressed, and I really can’t figure out why. I notice that I’m getting like that too. I just have so much to worry about, and I just feel like I just want to disappear. I need to snap out of it.

*khairrr*

End...

Fade Away...

 Falling dusk..

Abandons light..

Disappearing shadows..

Echoes sorrows..

Agony rising..

Wishes fading..

Across the cloud..

You depart again..

End..

-No Title-

Who should I blame?

Should I blame you? myself? or the situation??

Well, I choose to blame myself.

I'm sorry for everything

I blame myself for letting me go to bed with eyes full of tears.

I'm just sick and tired trying to justify all your actions and trying to understand your situation and Consoling my heart.

For once try to understand me, would you?

The only thing I wish right now, that I am an ant.

So that I can crawl and sit under a rock and nobody would ever notice my existence

End.. 

Heartache...

Sorry for trusting you.

Sorry for having hopes on you that you'll some how one day change.

Sorry for sticking by you even though everybody was misjudging.

Sorry for risking myself and ignoring what people thinks about me when we are together.

Sorry for defending you when people talked bad about you.

And sorry for thinking that I was somehow special in your life when the truth is I am not.

Sorry for wanting you to be better and have a better future.

Thank you for everything...

Including the heartache.

End..